Reflecting tonight that one of the biggest privileges of my job is how often I meet people who are pursuing goals that they feel, on some level, might be impossible. When I started trying to do handstands, I think I said a hundred times at least, that “it’ll probably never happen.” But deep down, I really, really wanted it to happen. And nowadays I meet people like me all the time - we all want it, whether it’s a handstand or a backflip or a split, or some other thing we’ve fixed in our minds as The Thing. We have no “why” in common. For me, wanting to do handstands and arm balances came from the same place as when you’re a little kid and you want to be a pop star or an astronaut. It came from this vision of pure joy. I was drawn into it without ever really questioning it. And I’m so happy I’ve gone down this rabbit hole.
I was getting a little down on myself and my abilities recently, and @ktmacdonnell reminded me that when I started practicing handstand, I would walk up to the front door of our apartment and just crash land against it, over and over again. He reminded me that he would be in the next room sometimes and hear horrible sounds of my body colliding with furniture, and he would come running to make sure I was okay. I was always okay. I’m not saying that it’s important for everyone to do handstands, or that anything is worth hurting yourself in its pursuit. But I am saying that sometimes the reward is greater than the risk, and some feelings are worth working really freaking hard for, even if your goals are not shared or understood by everyone in your life.
I’m so grateful to have found communities of likeminded crazy people ( @yogaleenastudio @mekanixhouston @oathletik ) who think the pursuit of the upside down is worthwhile. You all know who you are. And I know that some day my joints will fail and my muscles will wither, and all I’ll have are the memories. I also know I will look back and smile and be glad I was willing to crash so many times on the way to doing awesome things. And I’ll be proud.